Coaches

Two years ago, Owen played basketball for the first time. His coach was a very physical guy that liked to 'place' his players where he wanted them. Owen did not appreciate being pushed and had the sad task of informing his coach in tears that he would like to be spoken to and not manhandled.

Last year, his coach neglected to show up to several practices. On a few occasions he spent more than 1/4 of the practice complaining to the asst coach and ignoring the kids. There was a child on the team who was not behaving in a kind manner to Owen and the coach did nothing to remedy the matter. Actually, he told Owen to 'get over it'.

What do these two seasons have in common? Well, aside from the fact that Owen had negative experiences, E and I complained to each other about the coach (probably within Owen's ear shot) I know, not terribly bright of us. At the time, we were trying to empathize and help him deal with the less than stellar coach. We explained how adults are not always perfect and don't always do the right things.

This year, we told Owen at the beginning of the season that he was going to have the best coach ever. Well, as the season went on, E and I we started noticing big flaws. Coach got in an argument with a ref at one game (yikes! That never happened with any other coach). Owen had difficulties with another unkind player and this coach also did not remedy the issue. However, coach did know who the culprit was, did not like the child, spoke to him unkindly, and made him sit out most of the game. The big difference was, E and I were very careful never to say anything negative about the coach. We gave each other the eye a few times, but never a word. The result? Owen shook both the coaches hands at the end of the season and said, "Thanks for being a great coach." He never noticed the coach fighting with the ref, he handled the situation with the unkind team member, and he made some baskets. From his point of view, it was the best season yet.