Averting a fight

I can't believe it. I actually resolved an argument right in the middle of a heated moment today. I asked Bridget to call Grandma and ask her a question for me. The situation escalated pretty quickly when Owen immediately started screaming, "I wanna do it! It's my turn!" I offered to work it out so everyone would be happy. Neither of them were listening. Bridget was sitting on the steps blocking the way to the phone and Owen was doing all he could to get past her.

In the past, I think Owen had felt like the only win-win situation was when he gives in. This time was no different. He didn't want to talk about anything. He felt like my questions were like a lecture. Bridget wanted to work it out, so she let him past her. He ran up and got the phone. He sat at the top of the steps holding it. I reassured him that I would keep negotiating until everyone was happy. He was not interested in any more talking, but you could tell he wasn't ready to commit to making the call without agreement. I told him that I was sorry if my negotiating seemed like a lecture. I was just trying to find out what everyone wanted. Then he declared that he already had a solution. He was going to let Bridget call. I told him that solving a problem was about making everyone happy. If he kept giving in to make others happy then he would be really sad about missing out on great things, like calling Grandma. He thought about that, gave the phone to Bridget and started to walk away. Bridget started crying. It was beautiful. She said she didn't want Owen to give it to her. It was his turn and she wanted him to call. I started crying too. Owen hates crying, hates seeing other people crying and hates talking about crying. He was willing to do anything to make us stop crying. I told him we loved him very much and we wanted him to be just as happy as we were. He choked back his tears, hugged us and said he just wasn't in the mood to call anymore. Bridget had the great idea to get the other extension and they could call together. She said she would even let him dial. Just then the phone rang. It was Grandma. Whew. Problem solved.