Happy Valentine's Day

I have long preferred homemade gifts to expensive store bought gifts. In the past, I have felt like others judge me as rueful to think such a thing. Somehow, if I don't want something expensive, then it must be because my dh cannot afford it. I never really let it bother me because it was my desire and not our limited budget that dictated my decision. Not really sure where I'm going with this except to say that this quality of mine has been around since long before we started unschooling.

Recently, as we have slowly been sharing our new parenting philosophies, I have again started to notice people looking disapprovingly, this time at my children. I don't mind if people disapprove of me, but I have a real hard time watching others judge my children's behavior as the people that they are.

I've worked very hard to separate my children's behavior from the people that they are. I have to remind myself that their behavior is the best they can do with the tools that they have right now. I've come to trust that their behavior will become more respectful as I continue to model respect and help them discover new ways of communicating to accomplish what they want in life. Nagging them, "you catch more flies with honey" will only damage my relationship with them. Letting them discover that truth themselves through trial, error and my support, will help them learn that lesson for a lifetime. It will also give me opportunities to gain their trust through my love and support.

I woke up this morning to a very encouraging handmade valentine from E. He told me how very happy he has been since I started unschooling/consensual living five months ago. It made me cry to realize that my family is all that matters. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I am changing our family for the better and E completely supports me. I don't need jewelry or flowers to know that he loves me. He loves me in his actions every day.

Owen, on the other hand, needs candy from me in order for him to know I love him. He was so sweet last night when he told me that he just really loved candy. I told him that he was my favorite Valentine and I would never forget him on Valentine's day.

I wove both kids a construction paper heart and filled it with candy. They also got two small gifts. I picked up a pair of gloves for Bridget (which she desperately needed) for a buck and a small stuffed animal. Owen got a small stuffed Pikachu and a pack of Pokemon cards. Both kids commented on the beautiful woven hearts and appreciated the fact that I had taken the time to make something for them.

I made E a more intricately woven heart and put a sweet note inside. Here is the view of the heart looking at the inside.